Skinny Guys Have Rights Too

I have a confession to make…. I am a skinny guy. Ever since I was a kid and played sports I tried to gain weight so that I may have a physical advantage over my opponents.

I tried everything… From the backyard stone gym, the ‘everyday chips’ diet, extra chapatis dating a fat girl(so that we would compete on Terrific Tuesdays on who would eat more pizza) and even the ‘fake it till you make it’ technique where you try to trick your body in to thinking you are fatter by wearing bigger clothes. Unfortunately none of these worked.

I am still conducting a private research on how skinny people can gain weight…. Anyway, that’s besides the point.

Recently, I was hanging out with a group of friends at one of our favourite social sports. We talked about all the obvious things cars, big butts, football, money and our sporting days. In between the banter, the topic of my skinny nature became the trending topic(you see the effects of twitter?)

I was called all kinds of names…. Flagpost, T-Junction when I have an erection, shower with one stroke of a fap and many other inappropriate jokes which I choose not to mention. I was totally cool with it, in fact I had learnt to expect it and occasionally joined in on the fun.

At some point I had enough and decided to shift the attention to one of the fat guys who happened to be my friends visitor. I blatantly told him that he was lucky that he was fat coz he could double up as a cushion when cuddling with a girl.

All of a sudden, this was met with awkward silence. Its like I had just murdered the queen. All of a sudden, calling someone ‘fat’ was unacceptable. These are the same people that just made fun of my skinny nature.

I was met with feedback of social unacceptance with remarks such as “Not cool bro”, “Fat guys have feelings too” and “be sensitive”. Damn, who stands up for the skinny guys in the world? I felt like I had finally found my purpose, just like many activists before me, I realised that skinny people were the ‘boy child’ of the weight discrimination world.

You see, back then the focus was on the girl child which subsequently lead to the ignoring of the male species who were equally important.

So, what is my point?

1. There is nothing wrong with being called fat. Its an honest remark. If we call others skinny why can’t we call others fat?

2. Skinny people are also discriminated against. I experienced this when I went to Japan and wanted to participate in a Sumo Wrestling contest. Just like fat guys complain about marathons, skinny guys have a right to complain against Sumo wrestling.

3. The extra piece of chicken. When at middle school it baffled me why my fat friend always got the extra piece of chicken. Well, the logic behind it is that since their bodies may need more energy its only fair that they eat more. Well, skinny people have needs too, we also need to gain weight…. Its not cool being challenged by the wind on occasion.

4. Public transport. In the bus, its totally acceptable for the fat guy to take up two seats, nothing wrong with that, but what does the skinny guy get? Nothing in fact if you are skinny they may fit in an extra person. What’s my point? We also want some privilege in return. Let skinny guys sit next to the prettiest girls in public transport. Its the least we could get….

Skinny people have feelings too!

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